Using a Parenting Coach to Make Morning Routines Smoother

Are you in survival mode when it comes to parenting?

Do you spend each day longing for bedtime and each week longing for Saturday?

 I get it.  Parenting is a long haul.

But a lot of us make parenting harder than it needs to be.  We run around like chickens with our heads cut off.  

If I learned one thing as a classroom teacher, I learned how using systems and routines helped my classroom run more efficiently and smoothly. The same is true for homes.

Parenting Coaches Help with Systems

When it comes to making life easier, developing systems is a great first step. 

The busier our lives are, the more we need to systemize the acts of daily living that repeat over and over.

What are some of your favorite systems?

Here are some of the systems my clients have found to be effective:

Stagger Kids Wake Up Times

Very likely your children wake up at different times anyway.  Avoid congestion in the bathroom by making the staggered wake-up times official.  This can also give you a moment of one-on-one connection with each of your kids in the morning.  That first thing snuggle alone can be a game changer at helping mornings be smoother.  

Getting Kids Dressed

For sure, it helps to pick out clothes the night before.

Some families put their kids into their next-day shirts after their baths.  A child out of diapers can even wear her next-day leggings.  

If you are super rushed in the mornings, consider picking outfits for the week and grouping them on the same hanger or in a clear plastic bag.  On Sunday, look at the weather and make your best guess at an appropriate outfit for each day complete with underwear, socks, and even a matching hair bow.

If you have a child who gets up and then gets distracted, I recommend having your child get dressed in the bathroom.  Most children wake up and go potty first thing.  They take off their pajamas to pee. (I would put a hook for their pajamas right there in the bathroom; then the pajamas are at hand after their bath the next night). Instead of pulling their pajamas back up, if their clothes are in the bathroom, they can get dressed directly.

Bathrooms are often warmer, too, which can make it pleasanter for children to change. 

From the bathroom, send children directly to the breakfast table and they are less likely to start playing in their rooms.

(Thinking through your own outfits for the week—complete with what earrings you’re going to wear—can make getting dressed more automatic for you, too.  Any decision you are not making while trying to get your household up is going to help.)

Getting Kids Fed in the Morning

Breakfast is a great place to develop kids’ independence.

Keep weekday breakfast simple without too many choices.  

Consider putting breakfast down low where even your littlest kids can reach it.

You can put cold cereal into single-portion Tupperware in a low cupboard, so even a preschooler can get it out herself.

Four-year-olds can handle pouring from a small pitcher of milk ready for them in the fridge.  

School-aged children can handle toast or frozen waffles in the toaster.  Consider a syrup dispenser that can sit on the kitchen table ready for kids to use.

Elementary school kids can also warm pre-cooked egg bites or sausages in the microwave.

Have middle school and high school kids make smoothies the night before, ready to grab.

Getting Kids Out the Door

Have a command station by the door.

Place absolutely everything needed for school or activities at the door the night before.  

Make a list for each child for each day that she can check off.  That way she’ll remember the soccer ball for practice on Tuesday afternoon. 

Make sure the homework folder is in the binder where your kids can access it easily.  Most teachers will ask for homework first thing.    

Check the next-day list before bed.  This list can include morning chores like taking out the recycling.  

For important reminders (like getting the garbage to the curb on garbage day), I would also set an alarm for the morning of).

For your little kids, you will probably do hugs and kisses as you drop them at childcare, but your older kids might balk at such public displays of affection.  That’s okay.  Have your routine goodbyes just before they go out the door to the car.  

Your teens might roll their eyes, but they need to bask in your love for a moment before they go face the outside world just as much as your littles do.  

Yes, But Elisabeth What About…

Without fail, I will present an idea to a family in a coaching session, and they will say, that won’t work for us because…

Then we start brainstorming what tweaks are needed for your family. 

One big objection I hear is, “What do I do when my child changes her mind about what to wear and refuses to put on that day’s outfit?”

Start by taking the time to explain to your kids the rationale behind making the choices at the start of the week.  Looking at both the weather and any special considerations for the week (Is it Pajama Day at school on Friday?) is a great technique for transitioning your kids mentally from the weekend to the work week.  Help them understand about decision fatigue—and that having few decisions to make in the morning will make everyone less grumpy.

Then stick to your guns.  

Yes, in the beginning, you might have quite a few meltdowns with kids who want pancakes for breakfast on Wednesday.  Remind them of the rationale—cereal is quicker, and you can get it yourself so we are less rushed in the mornings.  

Be empathetic that they thought they would want to wear their truck shirt on Thursday but now they really want to wear their dino shirt.  At the same time, assure them of your confidence that sticking to the routine will make mornings calmer and more cheerful for everyone and that they’ll get better at picking out outfits in advance.  

Be willing to stay present with the tantrum and allow their big feelings.  This will show them that you get how they feel and, at the same time, you have a vision that is going to make things better for the whole family.  They will take comfort from your leadership.  

It Is Just Quicker If I Do It Myself 

I hear from parents all the time that while in theory they believe in their child doing things themselves, it is quicker if they just do them.

Of course, it is.

In the short run.

In the long run, you know it doesn’t pass the common-sense test to have you doing everything.

Yes, for some time your child might spill the milk more often than not.  And, yes, teaching your child to clean up the spill takes more time than wiping it yourself.  

But both the pouring and the wiping have so many great side benefits:

Your child will master these skills eventually.  

Mastering them will build your child’s self-esteem and sense of personal power.

Children who learn to take personal responsibility at home are better class members at school and will have better relationships with their teachers and peers.  

Over time, everyone will feel less stressed because it really is true that many hands make light work.  

Where are you getting stuck in your household?

I have some great advice here.  Maybe you’ve already tried these things, though, and it hasn’t worked.  

That’s where parenting coaching comes in.  

Together we will talk through all the factors that make your child and your family unique.  After 30+ years of working with kids and families, my bag of ideas for how to solve your particular sticking points is deep.

Let me be of service!  Start by signing up for a Getting to Know You call so that you can tell me about your household, and I can tell you more about how I work with families and what I can do for you.

It would be an honor and a pleasure to talk to you!  Sign up HERE.