What Parents Can Learn from Classroom Teachers
Warmth + Fun + Connection = Happy Families
A home is not the same as a classroom full of twenty to thirty kids.
But there are some things that parents can learn from the way good teachers do things.
When teachers are evaluated for effectiveness, the measure used is Time on Task. That means how many minutes of the day are students actually learning or practicing content. Any minutes spent doing organizational tasks—taking attendance, collecting lunch money, turning in homework—do not count towards a teacher’s effectiveness.
At home with families, there are necessarily a lot of things that just need to get done—laundry, food prep, clean up, kids getting dressed/undressed, bathed, etc.—but the truly meaningful time is the time spent bonding together, connecting and having fun. In families, that is the Time on Task.
There are two ways to increase time for fun, warmth, and connection.
Improve systems and routines for daily tasks to free up more time
Bring more playfulness and fun into the daily “have to’s”
Let’s look at some examples of systems and routines.
Teach children where things go and expect them to put things where they belong
Have a specific central location by the door for keys/wallets and outerwear and lunchboxes/schoolbags/sports bags etc.
Have a central docking station for all electronics
Have regular times for doing chores and tidying up
Have a clear system for jobs—who is doing what, by when and for how long (Do your kids like keeping the same chore or rotating chores?)
Have hacks for reducing the amount of decision making that needs to happen day-to-day
Plan meals ahead of time (start traditions like Taco Tuesdays so that’s one less day to plan every week)
Have a set day for washing towels and another for washing sheets; tie it to the same day that the trash had to be taken to the curb to help remember to do it
Put outfits together at the start of the week complete with the sweaters, socks, and hair clip your child likes with that outfit. Have kids get out the bag they are going to need the night before
Streamline errands to minimize the amount of time driving places
-For example, my dry cleaner is right next to the yoga studio. I only have to park once.
-Choose doctors and dentists whose offices are close to the kids’ school so if you have to pick them up to take them to appointments during the week, it is more efficient.
Now let’s look at some ways to up the amount of fun you can have while doing routine things.
Play fun, uplifting music (each family member can have their own playlist and take turns or you can have a family playlist) while cleaning up
Set a timer and see how fast you can get chores done. Don’t set kids against each other. Instead, reward the whole family for improving their time from last time.
Before clean up time, hide fun things that they can find for doing an extra good cleaning job (like actually lifting off the couch cushions and cleaning underneath)
Even if a parent is still providing lots of help, have a meal a month sponsored by each kid. Let the kid make the decision about what to have, how to decorate the table, what special question to ask everyone while eating the meal, etc.
Use your imagination to change the scene from the mundane (Maybe you are making the queen’s bed or cleaning the king’s royal crapper. Maybe you take turns being a news reporter doing a running commentary on how household cleanup is going)
BE POSITIVE, enthusiastic, and uplifting while chores are getting done. Parents set the tone. Instead of yelling at the kids who aren’t working, give high fives to the kids who are working.
What structure can you strengthen in your home to create more warmth and connection?