Guest Post by Evie Harison
Raising a child is anything but easy. Parenting is a full-time job that requires attention, dedication, and patience. As a parent, you are responsible for shaping the perceptions and experiences of your little one, thereby ensuring that your child becomes a productive member of society.
While technology has made life in general much easier than before, parenting is now even more challenging despite the various advancement.
In fact, according to a 2018 study, compared to a generation ago, being a parent in modern times is significantly harder. Every one in six parents is of the view, as per the survey.
To ensure that you can nurture and support your child, you must begin by understanding them. To do so, here are some methods that can help.
1. Observe
To understand your child better, you must first begin by learning about the experiences that your child is having. Remember, every child is different and processes things differently. By observing their actions and reactions to situations, you can assess their temperament, likes, and dislikes.
This will help in understanding your child's psychology. Here are some questions you should aim to answer via observing your little one.
What interests your child?
How do they react to something that they do not like? This can include doing work that they don't like (homework, cleaning up their room, etc.) or eating something.
Is your child social and adventurous?
How long does it take your child to become comfortable in new surroundings?
Remember, the key here is to solely observe and note down your child's behavior patterns. Don't pass any judgments or reach any conclusion about them from the get-go.
2. Make time for your children
You cannot understand your child unless you spend time with them. According to Our World in Data, a university-educated mom spends 120 minutes a day with her children on average in America. However, fathers merely spend 85 minutes a day with them.
This is a glaring statistic. While the fast-paced life of the masses does make spending time with children quite hard, it is still important to do so for a child's emotional development. Here, the key is to spend quality time with them.
Something as simple as eating breakfast and dinner as a family can help provide a child with a sense of security. Go a step further and plan special weekends with them. Let your kids decide how to spend the day. Or, look for the best father son movies for a movie night.
By making plans with your children, you will detect any changes in their behavior and seem approachable to them.
3. Listen and acknowledge
Generally, emotional intelligence is gauged by a person's ability to listen to others and understand their point of view. This empathy is a skill that must be mastered by parents.
If your child doesn't take the lead, initiate the conversation to get them talking. Then, try to listen to what they are trying to say, irrespective of whether they can express themselves clearly to you or not. Here, noting down non-verbal cues helps.
Even when your child gets older, listening to them and identifying their unsaid apprehensions go a long way. To do so, focus on the tone of their speech. What words do they stress? What expressions do they use to convey meaning?
When the child knows that they are being heard, they feel valued. This will help you establish a bond of trust with them, further developing a culture of open communication.
4. Be willing to change your ways
Are you struggling with understanding your child? Or maybe, you feel disappointed by the behavior of your offspring. Again, we would reiterate that you must treat every child differently. For instance, sometimes, what may have worked on your firstborn would not work on your lastborn!
Begin by setting reasonable expectations with the process of parenting. Don't believe in the general timelines you read about. There is no correct age by which a kid should be doing something. For starters, some children start talking later than others.
However, do make a point of visiting a child development specialist to get a rough idea of every child's progress timeline.
Alter your behavior and reactions according to your child's personality. If you find yourself restricting them from various actions, try to find ways to eliminate the source of those actions from the surrounding so that your child doesn't grow up feeling frustrated and suffocated.
Also, as your child grows, their personality will change, and your parenting style will need to alter accordingly. While your child might view you as a friend during his youth, he may not treat you the same during his teenage years, which means you will have to be a little rigid to ensure discipline.
Enjoy the Journey
The journey of understanding your child never ends. Even as adults, we are always evolving and changing. And parents must find ways to be a support system for their children through their various phases.
Use these ways to understand your kids better. But, know that there is no code to be cracked. You will have to learn the art along the way!
Author
Evie Harrison is a blogger by choice. She loves to discover the world around her. She likes to share her discoveries, experiences and express herself through her blogs