Finding Work/Life Balance with the Help of a Parenting Coach
In the fast-paced world we live in today, finding the elusive work-life balance can often feel like an impossible task. Between work obligations, household responsibilities, and personal needs, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. However, by implementing certain strategies, you can create a more harmonious and efficient life.
When supporting clients through parenting coaching sessions, these six themes emerge over and over.
1. Use Structure to Make Home Life More Efficient
One of the key elements to achieving work-life balance is establishing a solid structure in your daily life. Structure doesn’t mean rigidity; rather, it’s about creating a framework that helps you manage your time effectively and prioritize what truly matters. At the end of the day, we all wish we had more time, and implementing structures or procedures—approaching the same task the same way week after week—can cut down on the time it takes us to do things—time we can be spending having fun with our families.
One place where I have implemented a lot of structure is in getting the family fed. I don’t know about you, but worrying about what was for dinner used to keep me in a constant state of low-grade anxiety.
Here’s what I did:
Created a spreadsheet of over 30 different meals. Each meal has a tab with the ingredients list. All ingredients are listed in the same way (ex: onion, chopped ½ cup). On Saturday, I chose 7 meals and copy their ingredient lists onto one spreadsheet. I sort the ingredients for 7 meals so all the same ingredients are together. In that way I can see, I’m going to need 4 cups of chopped onions over the course of the week. I add 4 medium onions to the list.
Arrange the shopping list in the same order I walk the store to maximize efficiency.
Divide the shopping list among family members, so it takes ¼ of the time it would usually take.
Do the food prep all at once when we get home from shopping (ie, chop the four onions so they are ready to go the day I need them).
Not only is shopping and prepping more efficient, but the stress of choosing recipes goes away. Of course, sometimes I want to try out new recipes, and I do, but then it is in the fun category rather than the “have to” category.
By establishing a consistent routine, you'll find that tasks become more manageable, and you’ll have a clearer sense of direction each day.
2. Use Clear Expectations and Routines to Create More Flow
Flow in daily life comes from predictability and understanding. When you set clear expectations and establish routines, both you and your family know what to expect, reducing chaos and confusion. Clear expectations provide a roadmap for behavior, helping everyone understand their roles and responsibilities, whether it’s at work, in school, or at home.
Even Kindergarteners can be trained to get up, get dressed, get breakfast and make their lunches independently. Of course, it takes time, but by doing things in the same order and in the same way every day, and supporting them along the way, children learn what to do. For kids who aren’t reading yet or who have ADHD, a check-off list can help keep kids on track.
Eventually, you will have time to enjoy a peaceful breakfast together where you actually get to sit down because you are not serving everyone else. Yes, this frees up your time in the morning to get ready yourself, but just as importantly you are giving kids a chance to shine. They feel a lot of pride and satisfaction when they take responsibility for themselves.
Incorporating morning and after-school routines can be as simple as having a regular time and place for homework, designated family time for a family meeting, and incorporating something like a Clean Up Party on Saturday mornings. Over time, these routines become second nature, leading to a smoother daily flow and reducing the amount of nagging and bickering with your kids.
3. Use Ceremony and Ritual to Amp Levels of Connection in the Home
Incorporating ceremony and ritual into your home life can significantly enhance the connection and bond within your family. Ceremonies and rituals don’t have to be elaborate; they can be simple, meaningful practices that bring your family together and create lasting memories.
For example, you might start a tradition of having a family game night every Friday, a Sunday morning breakfast ritual, or a nightly bedtime story routine with your kids. These rituals provide opportunities for connection, allowing family members to come together regularly in a meaningful way.
Ceremonies can also be used to mark important milestones or transitions, such as the start of a new school year, a family member’s birthday, or even the changing of the seasons. These moments of connection foster a sense of belonging and unity within the family, making everyone feel valued and included.
By prioritizing these rituals and ceremonies, you create a strong foundation of love and connection in your home, which both help children show up as their best and can help balance the stresses of work and other outside pressures.
4. Share the Mental Load by Handing Off Tasks Without Micromanaging Kids or Spouses
One of the biggest challenges in achieving work-life balance is managing the mental load—the invisible work that goes into running a household and ensuring everything is taken care of. This often falls disproportionately on one person, leading to burnout and resentment. To combat this, it’s essential to share the mental load by delegating tasks and responsibilities among family members.
I recommend sitting down with your partner (or entire family if the kids are in middle or high school) and writing down absolutely every household task you can think of from doing the taxes to remembering the family birthdays to keeping track of which child is outgrowing his shoes. When it comes to your kids, divide big tasks: One partner can oversee doctors’ appointments; the other parent can handle all things dental. This doesn’t mean that parents don’t talk to each other; it does mean that at the end of the day, that responsibility will clearly belong to one partner.
Once you have agreed what tasks you are going to do, you give up the right to micromanage any duty that is not on your list. Trust that your spouse or children can handle the responsibilities you give them, even if they do things differently than you would. For example, if your partner is in charge of cooking dinner, resist the urge to oversee every step.
Effective communication is key in this process. Clearly outline what needs to be done and by whom, and then step back to let them take ownership of their tasks. This not only reduces your mental burden but also teaches your children valuable life skills and fosters a sense of teamwork within the family.
5. Take Care of Yourself
Amidst the demands of work and family life, it’s easy to neglect your own needs. However, self-care is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. Taking care of yourself ensures that you have the energy and mental clarity to meet your responsibilities without burning out.
Self-care can take many forms, from regular exercise and a healthy diet to hobbies, relaxation, and spending time with friends. It’s important to carve out time for activities that replenish your energy and bring you joy. Whether it’s reading a book, going for a walk, practicing meditation, or indulging in a hobby, these moments of self-care are essential for maintaining your overall well-being.
Remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish; it’s a vital part of being able to take care of others. When you prioritize your own health and happiness, you’re better equipped to handle the demands of work and family life, and you set a positive example for your children about the importance of self-care.
6. Do Less
In a world that glorifies busyness, the idea of doing less might seem counterintuitive. However, one of the most effective ways to achieve work-life balance is by simplifying your life and reducing unnecessary obligations. By doing less, you free up time and mental space to focus on what truly matters.
Start by listing your values and long-term goals for your family. Many parents I interact with tell me they just want their children to be happy. At the same time, these parents have their kids enrolled in so many extracurriculars that their kids are drowning in stress. Evaluate your values, see where your current commitments are in alignment and identify areas where you can cut back. Remember, there can be too much of a good thing. If you are so stressed by getting to an activity, you don’t have time to enjoy it, it is time to eliminate some tasks and activities.
By doing less, you create more room for meaningful experiences, quality time with loved ones, and opportunities for relaxation. This doesn’t mean neglecting your responsibilities; rather, it’s about being intentional with your time and energy, ensuring that you’re dedicating them to the things that truly matter.
What can you say no to? I serve on the board of a women’s organization. I was asked to serve on the board of my community choir. I’d love to serve on the choir board, but together with the women’s organization board, it will be too much. I will begin to resent both commitments, and that is not fair to either one.
Conclusion: Finding Your Balance
Achieving work-life balance is not about perfection; it’s about finding what works best for you and your family. By using structure to create efficiency, setting clear expectations and routines, incorporating meaningful ceremonies and rituals, sharing the mental load, taking care of yourself, and doing less, you can create a more balanced and fulfilling life.
Remember, balance is not a static state; it’s an ongoing process of adjustment and refinement. What works for you today might need to be tweaked tomorrow. The key is to remain flexible and open to change, always striving to create a life that reflects your values and priorities. By taking small, intentional steps, you can achieve a sense of harmony that allows you to thrive both at work and at home.
Do you need help sorting out your priorities and weighing what is going to benefit your kids the most in the long run? I am here to help.
Sign up for a complimentary Getting to Know You call.