If you are doing everything right as a parent, you will have very little need for consequences.

No matter how hard you try, however, some kids just have to test boundaries in order to really learn limits for themselves. So, when reason and understanding don’t work—and the natural consequence is too grave for a parent not to step in—, it is time for a parent to come up with a logical consequence.

Effective consequences do not play the shame and blame game. They require the child to make amends and to use critical thinking for what is going to help them make a better choice next time. The best consequences are announced ahead of time, so let’s put our heads together and find the consequence that is going to work for your child.