Posts in Parenting
How Play Leads to EQ Which in Turn Leads to Happiness and Success

As there is more and more artificial intelligence (AI) in the world, there is more need than ever for little humans to learn Emotional Intelligence. Play is a tremendous vehicle for one’s own and others’ emotions. Being able to relate emotionally allows kids to function in school more effectively and therefore to be more ready for learning.

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Play Makes Kids Smarter (Maybe Even Than Being in Organized Activities)

All parents want their kids to be smart. To support their children’s development they have enrolled their kids in more and more extra curricular activities. The irony is that these activities take up kids’ play time, and parents are grossly undervaluing the benefit of play to children’s cognitive development. You might be surprised by some of the ways that play builds both perception and critical thinking skills.

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Are You a Playful Parent? Do You Pull on the Power of Play to Engage Your Kids?

Last night in my yoga class, the instructor asked us to dedicate our practice to being more playful.  That got me to thinking about the power of playfulness in parenting.  When I got home, I went to the Joyful Parenting Website and searched “play.” Twenty blogs came up in which I mention the power of play and being a playful parent.  That tells me what an important role I think play plays (ha ha, pun intended) for happy children and a happy home life.  That being said, I realize I’ve never devoted an entire blog to the Importance of Play. 

I do that here AND teach two playful techniques you can put to work in your family today.

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Is Your Child Spoiled?

When it comes to “spoiling,” this is when I see problems:

  1. Parents deny their children something only to give in in the face of whiny, petulant, disruptive behavior.
  2. Parents give their children everything always, so children never learn to handle disappointment.
  3. Parents give their children everything always, so children develop a warped sense of entitlement and fail to recognize the difference between needs and wants.

Read on to find out the solutions. 

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Is Childcare Hurting Your Child?

Teasing out what are the effects of child care--especially long term--on children is no easy task and, yet, is understandably one that has an enormous effect not only on our own children but also on society as a whole.  The truth is, researchers don't really know whether or how much childcare might be hurting us.  Here are my ideas.  

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How Do You Teach Your Kids Emotional Intelligence?

You've Got the ABC's Covered and the 123's Down.  But Increasingly, research shows the importance of Emotional Intelligence--and you are the person best suited to teaching it.  

Emotional intelligence is being able to recognize a wide range of nuanced emotions, and recognizing them, being able to regulate them and put them in perspective in a way that helps the individual move through life more easily.  

In my long experience in working with children, emotional intelligence can absolutely be developed.  The most important way in which it is developed is through interactions with thoughtful adults who are modeling and guiding kids in dealing with their feelings.

This blog shares some common behaviors of parents whose kids display emotional intelligence.

AND IF YOU ARE CURIOUS ABOUT HOW TO BOOST YOUR OWN EQ, CHECK OUT THIS BLOG ON "How can we use NLP to build Emotional Intelligence?"

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5 Surprising Ways to Get Your Kids Up and Moving

Is it potato chips and soda making kids obese?  Maybe not!  While a healthy diet is important, of course, new research by Dr. Asheley Cockerel Skinner of the University of North Carolina (Chapel Hill) finds that “it is becoming increasingly obvious that the lack of physical exercise in children is the main culprit in the startling rise of childhood obesity, heart disease, diabetes, and all other types of preventable medical conditions.”

If you are sick of nagging and arguing about it, here are some sneaky ways to assure your kids move their bodies without focusing on it being “exercise.”

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Squeezing Both Quality Parenting Time and Quantity Parenting Time Out of Your Week

At the end of the day, family is about being together and feeling like a connected unit.  With very little time in the week left over for parenting and family time, it is essential to be deliberate about the choices you make for your family--both by protecting the time you do have together and by making sure that time is quality time.  Here are some tips on how to do that.  

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Don't take your teen so personally!

Have you heard the cry of, 
OMG, YOU ARE SO EMBARRASSING!

Has your young teen shifted from skipping down the street holding your hand to acting as if you have the plague?  Such behavior is so teen-movie, situational-sitcom cliché we almost don't fully expect it to happen to us.  But if your child is developing normally and as he needs to do, he will have that moment when he acts as if you are an alien creature he has never seen before.  

Your frontal cortex is fully formed:  You have the big picture and long-term perspective.  That makes it your job to keep calm and parent on.  Repeating the mantra, This is a stage, it will pass, and it has nothing to do with me personally, it will help.  

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The Thin Line I Found Between Being A Parent And Smothering The Kids

 

Tyler Jacobson, today's guest blogger who writes about the struggle to find the balance between protecting our kids without falling into helicopter parenting, is a proud father, husband, writer and outreach specialist with experience helping parents and organizations that help troubled teen boys. Tyler has focused on helping through honest advice and humor on modern day parenting, struggles in school, the impact of social media, addiction, mental disorders, and issues facing teenagers now. Follow Tyler on Twitter | Linkedin

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I find it hard to be consistent when I’m in a hurry, tired or out in public

Isn’t that the truth!  Parenting gets so exponentially harder when we are in a hurry or are tired.  That’s why I’m such a big believer in creating systems and routines for as much of the day as we can.  When we have good systems and routines to fall back on, we can let habit lead us.  

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My Teacher Hates Me! I'm Not Going Back to that Class!

Knowing our kids are happy at school allows us to drop them off with confidence and get on with our day.  When our child refuses to go to school, then we are filled with doubt and insecurity and our hands feel tied, knowing it is not as simple as changing schools or teachers. What can you do to help your child feel good about his teacher?  
 

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11 teen suicides in 9 years.  In one community.   In my community.

11 teen suicides in 9 years.  In one community.   In my community.
How does that happen?  Your first answer might be to blame the parents.  Where were they?  Didn't they know they were putting too much pressure on their son?  Why didn't they do something?

But it's not that simple.

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DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS

Even many adults don't learn the skill of having difficult conversations effectively.  Most people just want everyone else to be happy.  Certainly, no one modeled for me how to stay present even when conversations got uncomfortable.  It was so much easier to just give up or give in.  Now, of course, there are times when going with the flow is the name of the game, but if you want your kids to learn the balance between keeping the peace and learning to advocate for themselves in a constructive way, they are going to learn that much sooner if you teach it to them explicitly. 

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Say Yes When You Can, But Don't Be Afraid of Saying No

Most parents understand and are comfortable with this when it comes to safety.  Your two year old may want to climb the wobbly ladder by himself but you know that the risk is too great, so you offer a compromise--she may climb it with you hanging on to him tightly or she may climb her toy slide by herself.  He may not use the big knife to cut onions but he may use the plastic knife to cut bananas or to spread butter.  

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Chores for All Ages

There are many reasons to give kids chores (To see a comprehensive list, go HERE. Kids like to feel needed and capable. Chores help with both. When parents set up chores as “In our family we help each other,” kids see their work as being an important part of being a member of the family. Plus, kids like knowing they are able to do things on their own. They like being able to know that they were the one who made the living room sparkle or who saw to it that every family member had a sandwich ready to take in his lunch. When all the family members are contributing, it frees up time for family fun, and parents are less stressed. Parents have to get themselves ready for work. If the kids are making lunch for everyone while Mom and Dad are getting breakfast on the table, families end up having a few minutes to sit down and start the day together.

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What’s Wrong with the Modern Day Play Date?

 Perhaps you grew up in the days before the playdate.  As you went out the back door, letting it slam behind you, you shouted over your shoulder, “Mom, I’m going out.”  Her “Be back by dinner time” drifted after you.  You then found someone on the streets to play with.  Or perhaps you went to a neighbor’s house and called in the door to a friend.  Then the negotiations began.  Did you want to climb trees?  Shoot hoops?  Create fairy villages in the shade of the bushes?  (I seem to remember that my best friend and cross-the-street neighbor and I liked to do the same things but never seemed to want to do the same thing at the same time.)

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