Too often we have kids that don't listen because we have trained them not to listen! We do that by making a request of them without following through. In that way, by the time our children are tweens or teens, they have a honed sense of how seriously they have to listen. They know you don't really mean it until you get loud or mad.
Instead, learn The S-U-S-T-A-I-N-E-D Connect to teach your kids to follow through without you ever having to raise your voice or sharpen your tone.
Theory is one thing. Putting your best parenting practices into play in the heat of the moment is quite another story! Come read my true confessions of feeling I too often failed my visiting niece and nephews this past week. Boy, are my skills rusty! And, wow, was I reminded how much of parenting is the mental game!
Read MoreThe fact that your child has been diagnosed with ADHD may bring up a lot of emotions—fear, sadness, guilt, anger, confusion. But to my mind the diagnosis is good. Let me tell you why. You have been living with a child with ADHD for quite some time now. Whether or not you knew it, you knew your child is different. To my mind, having a diagnosis is a good thing: It means you can get the professional help your child might really need. In the meanwhile, all the parenting techniques that support harmony and cooperation in any household are even more important with your kids with an ADHD diagnosis.
Read MoreThe tagline to my business Joyful Parenting Coaching is Be the Architect of Your Family. With that, I really mean to parent deliberately. Here are three reasons I see structure as supporting a happy, harmonious family life: It makes kids feel secure; it gives opportunities for independence; and it can improve connection among family members.
Read MoreEffective Parenting pillars: Clarity, Connection and Consistency. Master these three parenting pillars and all the other parenting challenges will be easier as you will have the strong bond that you need to get your kids’ cooperation.
Read MoreAs parents approach the teen years, they get fearful about all the pitfalls their sweet baby can fall into. Yes, it is scary. Between social media and new addictions like vaping, there is a lot that can pull a kid off track. There is no silver bullet for protecting our kids. Even companies like Apple that are trying to provide parental controls on their devices are failing to truly protect our kids. So what does buffer our kids? Well in studies of measures that support kids in thriving, a strong connection to family remains one of the best tools.
Get 4 Tips for Building a Healthy Relationship with Your Kids
Read MoreWe get thrown as parents when our kids ask (demand!) something that they know we are going to say no to. Have we ever said yes to a popsicle for breakfast? No! So why would they even think to ask? Read to find out .
Read MoreEvery once in a while I publish a guest post—either because the person’s expertise in a given area is much more sophisticated than mine or because they offer a perspective I cannot. In this blog, dad Tyler Jacobson shares how he handled it when his 13 year old daughter broke some big family rules. I especially love the understanding he shows his daughter as well as the problem solving, all while keeping her accountable for her poor choices.
Read MoreOnce the shine of the new school year wears off, it is time to settle into the routine of school. Here are steps for helping your child figure out how to handle the homework the teacher’s give her. Aid her in problem solving but recognize that if you tell your child how and when to do her homework, chances are it won’t work. At this stage, it is more important to help her develop her own tools for managing her work.
Read MoreIn talking to parents this summer, one of the comments I have heard a lot is some theme or variation on how much better the children’s behavior is during the summer compared to the school year. In other words, children who have enough downtime and sleep and fewer demands put on them, are more likely to cheerfully and cooperatively engage in family life.
Children will be happier, healthier and more ready to learn with less hectic schedules and fewer demands put upon them. READ ON for some ways to create that for your kids.
Read MoreIsn’t that the truth! Parenting gets so exponentially harder when we are in a hurry or are tired. That’s why I’m such a big believer in creating systems and routines for as much of the day as we can. When we have good systems and routines to fall back on, we can let habit lead us.
Read More•Having their phones in their rooms with them. Yes, a smart phone makes a good alarm, but not if kids are texting and checking social media all night, so better to get your child a conventional alarm clock.
•Going fully speed ahead right up until bed time. People need wind down time. Just as when they were babies or toddlers, kids should have a routine that calms and soothes.
•Varying their bedtimes by a lot. While the occasional late night can’t be avoided, sleep experts agree going to bed at around the same time every night is helpful.
•Trying to make up for lost sleep during the week by sleeping until noon on Saturday.
Read MoreA recent Quora question was how do we teach our children priorities. The answer is simple. Every time you make a choice, you are teaching your child your priorities.
You are in the middle of cooking dinner, and your child demands that you stop what you are doing and come see this marvelous bug that he is looking at.
If you turn off the stove and go look, you are prioritizing curiosity, discovery, enthusiasm and in-the-moment excitement.
Read MoreThere is no one right answer for that because each family is different, but here are some guidelines:
Logical consequences should
•be related to the problem
•be age appropriate
•allow a child his/her dignity
And most importantly, you HAVE to be able to follow through with them or you are back at square one, so it has to work for your family and for that particular child (fair is not equal).
Read MoreTantrums are a natural stage in every child's development. While some parents with easy going children may have fewer of them to deal with, no parent avoids tantrums altogether. However, there are steps we can take to avoid and/or mitigate tantrums.
Read MoreSo far, everything you have done to build your consistency muscle has focused on the positive--you have modeled correct behavior, praised correct behavior and trained for correct behavior. But still your child is using disrespectful behavior! Now is when it get's real, when you are going to set an expectation and then hold the limit. This will probably mean that you need to have a consequence ready--one that you can absolutely follow through on.
Read MoreWith New Year’s here, I imagine that you are setting resolutions around your parenting. Among your resolutions, perhaps you have a goal of being more consistent. Great. I’d like to help with that. However, becoming a consistent parent is almost impossible if you leave to will power alone. It is much easier if you build for success step by step. I have a plan for doing exactly that.
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