That Child Is a Bully!

THAT CHILD IS A BULLY!

Have you ever written off a child in your neighborhood or at your child's school as a bully?  It is easy as parents for us to get defensive and judgmental.   Bullying sets parents off and strikes a very sensitive chord, but lots of what we fear is bullying is normal interactions among kids—they just need the skills and the example to use it.

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Get Your Kids Eating Healthy with These Simple Steps

Happy to be included among the experts sharing their tips in this article on healthy eating.  One other tip, not shared here, that a nutritionist gave me was Only feed your kids at the table.  That's one I wish I had learned when my daughter was a toddler.  That means no mindless snacking while in the car or on the couch.  I know my own health would be better if I followed that rule (and I would probably add to that, no mindless eating while scrolling through Facebook or checking your email).  Read HERE for some more great tips on getting your kids in the habit of healthy eating. 

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Elisabeth Stitt
How to Keep Your Kids Active and Healthy in Today's Digital Era

Among the reasons that electronics and screen time is problematic is that kids are on their devices when they would otherwise be doing something physical.  Fortunately, parents can use fun physical activities as a draw to get kids away from too much screen time.  Check out some of these ideas from some other experts and me on how to do that in this blog by Hania Syed of mydeal.com.au.  Personally, I find it easier to provide attractive alternatives than to have a lot of rules about when and how long their kids can be on their cell phones or iPads.  Of course you may still need to have firm limits, but it is much easier to get kids excited about some kind of project--especially when you are right there doing it with them--than arguing whether they can play just one more game or write one more post.  Click HERE to read on.  

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Elisabeth Stitt
Reigning the Crazy by Limiting Your Kids' Activities

In talking to parents this summer, one of the comments I have heard a lot is some theme or variation on how much better the children’s behavior is during the summer compared to the school year.  In other words, children who have enough downtime and sleep and fewer demands put on them, are more likely to cheerfully and cooperatively engage in family life.  

Children will be happier, healthier and more ready to learn with less hectic schedules and fewer demands put upon them.  READ ON for some ways to create that for your kids.

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How to Leave the Park Easily and With No Tears in 3 Easy Steps

One of the great things about summer and school being out is being able to take your kids on more outings.  Some parents, however, find getting their kids to leave the beach, the zoo, the park—or wherever you have decided to go—without tears and tantrums so challenging, that they would rather stay home.  

Here are some ways to assure that you come home as happy as when you left.  


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Elisabeth Stitt
6 Bad Habits All Parents Should Drop

I was happy to contribute to this article on bad habits parents should drop.  I had cell phones on my mind--and getting them under control is absolutely important--but I love the points the other 5 contributors make, as well.  Probably one will resonate more than the others as being especially hard for you.  Focus on that one and consider what kind of plan you can come up for yourself. 

Click HERE to see which of the 6 Bad Habits Parents Should Drop you fall prey to.

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When in doubt, start by listening

Penn State reported in 2015 in a 7-year longitudinal study that “Parents who have better co-parenting relations feel more supported and confident, less stressed and depressed and they show more warmth and patience with their children” (19 January 2015).  I love this! So many parents ask me how to keep their temper when they are overwhelmed.  This study shows that having the articulated support of your parenting partner buffets you against stress and being at the end of your rope.  

Want your partner to responding lovingly and warmly to your parenting ideas? Start by creating connection with ACTIVE LISTENING.

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Elisabeth Stitt
Do You Support Your Children's Friendships?  The Social Benefits of Play

One of the chief ways in which a child learns to be a good friend is through hours of interactions with friends and potential friends.  In fact, aside from reading, friendship might be the primary task of the lower elementary--even more important than any math or science skills kids learn as the primary of act of being human is to be social. Our adult health and happiness is closely related to having good friends to support us.  

Do You Support Your Children's Friendships? 

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Elisabeth Stitt
How Play Leads to EQ Which in Turn Leads to Happiness and Success

As there is more and more artificial intelligence (AI) in the world, there is more need than ever for little humans to learn Emotional Intelligence. Play is a tremendous vehicle for one’s own and others’ emotions. Being able to relate emotionally allows kids to function in school more effectively and therefore to be more ready for learning.

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Play Makes Kids Smarter (Maybe Even Than Being in Organized Activities)

All parents want their kids to be smart. To support their children’s development they have enrolled their kids in more and more extra curricular activities. The irony is that these activities take up kids’ play time, and parents are grossly undervaluing the benefit of play to children’s cognitive development. You might be surprised by some of the ways that play builds both perception and critical thinking skills.

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Are You a Playful Parent? Do You Pull on the Power of Play to Engage Your Kids?

Last night in my yoga class, the instructor asked us to dedicate our practice to being more playful.  That got me to thinking about the power of playfulness in parenting.  When I got home, I went to the Joyful Parenting Website and searched “play.” Twenty blogs came up in which I mention the power of play and being a playful parent.  That tells me what an important role I think play plays (ha ha, pun intended) for happy children and a happy home life.  That being said, I realize I’ve never devoted an entire blog to the Importance of Play. 

I do that here AND teach two playful techniques you can put to work in your family today.

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Is Your Child Spoiled?

When it comes to “spoiling,” this is when I see problems:

  1. Parents deny their children something only to give in in the face of whiny, petulant, disruptive behavior.
  2. Parents give their children everything always, so children never learn to handle disappointment.
  3. Parents give their children everything always, so children develop a warped sense of entitlement and fail to recognize the difference between needs and wants.

Read on to find out the solutions. 

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Is Childcare Hurting Your Child?

Teasing out what are the effects of child care--especially long term--on children is no easy task and, yet, is understandably one that has an enormous effect not only on our own children but also on society as a whole.  The truth is, researchers don't really know whether or how much childcare might be hurting us.  Here are my ideas.  

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Call it backbone, courage, determination or fortitude, it is all about GRIT and how we foster that in our children

When most people think of grit, they think of “when the going gets tough, the tough get going.”  While that is an example of grit, most grit is of the less dramatic kind—the kind which allows a person to keep trying in the face of obstacles large and small.  

Setting out to develop grit in your child sounds a bit draconian, but you do want your child to develop the kind of persistence that will allow her to pursue things even when the pursuing feels hard or not worth it.  The best way to do this is to help your child see herself as being in process and to see challenges as something to go around rather than as something to stop you in your tracks.  

GET 3 TIPS FOR HOW TO DEVELOP GRIT IN YOUR CHILD. 

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How Do You Teach Your Kids Emotional Intelligence?

You've Got the ABC's Covered and the 123's Down.  But Increasingly, research shows the importance of Emotional Intelligence--and you are the person best suited to teaching it.  

Emotional intelligence is being able to recognize a wide range of nuanced emotions, and recognizing them, being able to regulate them and put them in perspective in a way that helps the individual move through life more easily.  

In my long experience in working with children, emotional intelligence can absolutely be developed.  The most important way in which it is developed is through interactions with thoughtful adults who are modeling and guiding kids in dealing with their feelings.

This blog shares some common behaviors of parents whose kids display emotional intelligence.

AND IF YOU ARE CURIOUS ABOUT HOW TO BOOST YOUR OWN EQ, CHECK OUT THIS BLOG ON "How can we use NLP to build Emotional Intelligence?"

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How to Support Your Shy Child

As parents, we worry when our children are shy because we don't want them to suffer.  While the worry is understandable, our instinct to protect our children is not always the most helpful response.  Not wanting our shy child to be upset, we err on the side of either keeping him safe at home away from social situations or forcing him out into society in ways which just reinforce his insecurities.  Click HERE to read Julia Hammond of MyDeal.com.au's blog on finding the middle ground in supporting your shy child.  In addition to consulting me, she got tips from a behavioral expert and an art therapist.  

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Elisabeth Stitt
5 Surprising Ways to Get Your Kids Up and Moving

Is it potato chips and soda making kids obese?  Maybe not!  While a healthy diet is important, of course, new research by Dr. Asheley Cockerel Skinner of the University of North Carolina (Chapel Hill) finds that “it is becoming increasingly obvious that the lack of physical exercise in children is the main culprit in the startling rise of childhood obesity, heart disease, diabetes, and all other types of preventable medical conditions.”

If you are sick of nagging and arguing about it, here are some sneaky ways to assure your kids move their bodies without focusing on it being “exercise.”

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Squeezing Both Quality Parenting Time and Quantity Parenting Time Out of Your Week

At the end of the day, family is about being together and feeling like a connected unit.  With very little time in the week left over for parenting and family time, it is essential to be deliberate about the choices you make for your family--both by protecting the time you do have together and by making sure that time is quality time.  Here are some tips on how to do that.  

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Parenting Powerfully by Parenting From Your Core Values

Powerful Parenting Comes From Being Grounded in Your Core Values.

With every parent I work with, I start by having parents identify what it is they care most deeply about. What is their world view? Whom do they want their child to become? It is not enough, today, to look to our neighbor for answers on how to parent our child. Instead it is essential to get clear on your own values and beliefs and to prioritize them.

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Don't take your teen so personally!

Have you heard the cry of, 
OMG, YOU ARE SO EMBARRASSING!

Has your young teen shifted from skipping down the street holding your hand to acting as if you have the plague?  Such behavior is so teen-movie, situational-sitcom cliché we almost don't fully expect it to happen to us.  But if your child is developing normally and as he needs to do, he will have that moment when he acts as if you are an alien creature he has never seen before.  

Your frontal cortex is fully formed:  You have the big picture and long-term perspective.  That makes it your job to keep calm and parent on.  Repeating the mantra, This is a stage, it will pass, and it has nothing to do with me personally, it will help.  

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