As a parenting coach, I often ask parents what kind of chores their kids are doing at home. One reason I ask is that it gives me a quick understanding of whether a parent is focused on the whole child or just on developing his resume or portfolio for college. While most measure a teen’s success by grade point and batting averages, other qualities like emotional intelligence and taking initiative count more.
Read MoreThe corona virus pandemic has been awful. Families and kids have suffered greatly. For the most part I can’t wait for things to be more positive and certain. That being said, there have been some silver linings for families, and it is my hope that parents are very mindful about deliberately working to keep those advantages in place.
Read MoreEven if things have been safe and healthy at your house, even if you do not even know anyone who has tested positive for Covid-19, the general levels of societal angst in the past year have affected all of us. And no matter how much you have done to shield your kids from the realities of the outside world, they have had a lot to deal with a lot of changes. It is no wonder that anxiety has been building up in them. Here are 8 tips for handling pandemic anxiety in your kids.
Read MoreThe fact that your child has been diagnosed with ADHD may bring up a lot of emotions—fear, sadness, guilt, anger, confusion. But to my mind the diagnosis is good. Let me tell you why. You have been living with a child with ADHD for quite some time now. Whether or not you knew it, you knew your child is different. To my mind, having a diagnosis is a good thing: It means you can get the professional help your child might really need. In the meanwhile, all the parenting techniques that support harmony and cooperation in any household are even more important with your kids with an ADHD diagnosis.
Read MoreThe tagline to my business Joyful Parenting Coaching is Be the Architect of Your Family. With that, I really mean to parent deliberately. Here are three reasons I see structure as supporting a happy, harmonious family life: It makes kids feel secure; it gives opportunities for independence; and it can improve connection among family members.
Read MoreHave you been looking for a break all summer but still haven’t gotten any vacation? Do you resent your kids lying around all day? Here are some reminders how both working parents and stay-at-home parents need to reinforce their work life balance routines.
Read MoreThree months into COVID-19, we are more antsy and our nerves are more frayed. It is no surprise that our kids’ behavior might be amping up. You should expect to see more moodiness and more negative interactions as they lose the structure remote learning (such as it was) provided. The best way to counteract that is CONNECTION. In a world that is feeling slightly crazy, it is even more important that kids feel anchored to the family. The forced physical proximity of being home together helps, but kids too often withdraw into their rooms and onto their screens. Get them off their phones and to the table for family dinner!
Read MorePutting the fear of god into your children doesn’t work; neither does giving in to their every whim. True cooperation from kids is based on relationship and connection. The question is how do you build the closeness and mutual trust in the midst of running through the day and getting everyone else’s needs met? The closest thing to a silver bullet is Special Time (and, yes, that’s capital S and capital T!).
Read MoreNow that we are parenting 24/7, it can feel like we are responsible for engaging our kids 24/7.
What if we didn’t? What if we left children to their own devices so they could discover learning on their own? What if by doing so, we were actually helping our kids develop some important independence and autonomy?
Read MoreIt is important to be present, to appreciate the moment as we are #parentinginplace with our families. At the same time, dreaming is a powerful way to shift our reality, to inspire us and to reassure us, that we will not always be sheltering in place. Children of all ages from preschoolers to teens will benefit from some active, no-holds-barred dreaming.
Read MoreHow do you decide what is an appropriate level of freedom and independence for your child? How do you find the balance between keeping him safe and learning things on his own? We can’t teach our kids to make good judgements about decisions if we never give them the space to make decisions independently. On the other hand, it is your job to provide limits that will keep your kids from going too far off course.
Read MoreThe levels of stress our kids are feeling today is part of the reason levels of anxiety and depression are sky rocketing. But parents can help kids choose healthy stress and assure they have enough downtime to push the reset button, so they can perform optimally.
Read MoreIs your family room a place your kids want to hang out? Creating a space where the family can connect and spend time together is more important than ever. Families are so busy, and there are a million forces pulling parents and kids alike in different directions both in the real world and online. Coming home to a cozy space designed with the kids in mind is the first step to some real family bonding.
Read MoreParents call me all the time concerned that their children are lazy, that they just want to be on their screens, that they lack motivation both for their school work and for taking personal responsibility. In last week’s blog, I gave my views on whether to Pay Children for Grades but concluded that what parents really want to know is not whether or not to pay their kids for grades: They just want to know how to motivate their kids to take an interest and to take action. Read on to learn How to Motivate Your Kids
Read MoreRecently in my Middle School Moms Group on Facebook a lively conversation about whether we should pay kids for grades came up. What do you think? Here I share comments of parents in the group and then provide my own views on this issues.
Read MoreEffective Parenting pillars: Clarity, Connection and Consistency. Master these three parenting pillars and all the other parenting challenges will be easier as you will have the strong bond that you need to get your kids’ cooperation.
Read MoreDuring the holiday season, it becomes especially important to ask the question over and over: Is our stress/guilt/anxiety of the holidays having a more negative effect on our kids and family as a whole than the closeness and happiness we are trying to create? Here are some ideas for reigning the holiday crazy in and being a positive parent throughout.
Read MoreIn a piece for the New York Times, Pooja Lakshmin opines, “if you’re a parent who’s at your wits’ end, instead of beating yourself up for your failure to self-care, try shortening your family to-do list and setting some boundaries." This is good advice, of course, but she doesn't give any concrete advice on how to shorten the family to-do list. I got thinking about that and came up with this list for parents of new to elementary school kids. (In the comment section below, tell me what are the things that you say no to.)
Read MoreAs parents approach the teen years, they get fearful about all the pitfalls their sweet baby can fall into. Yes, it is scary. Between social media and new addictions like vaping, there is a lot that can pull a kid off track. There is no silver bullet for protecting our kids. Even companies like Apple that are trying to provide parental controls on their devices are failing to truly protect our kids. So what does buffer our kids? Well in studies of measures that support kids in thriving, a strong connection to family remains one of the best tools.
Get 4 Tips for Building a Healthy Relationship with Your Kids
Read MoreSTEM education has come a long way since I was a child; now science and technology have such center stages that even if (like me!) science was your worst subject, there are lots of ways to excite your kids’ interest.
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